I'm so fresh

This is so everyone out there who reads this blog knows that despite the foul rumors...I do know how to read and write.
I would like to take this time to clear up some misconceptions about me.
1. My teeth aren't yellow I just eat a lot of corn before every picture we seem to take. Don't ask me why. I'm trying to figure out the corolation to corn and cameras but as of yet...no results.
I will keep the scientific communinty appraised of any discoveries.
2. I always thought that bloggers were dirty little people w/ no real person social skills. They also don't shower, were tight leather pants and drink something called tabacohal through straws to keep both hands free. Well since I've started writting I can now honestly say that I've changed pants and made a distilery. I hate when Im right.
3. I only eat chicken if there is ketchup gravy to pour over it. That is also true. If anyone is interested I'll send them the recipe.
4. My wife is better looking, smarter and tougher than me. Again this is true. You have no idea the weight this takes off my shoulders. It's as if suddenly my future kids have a chance of a real future because of her. THANK YOU ERIN!!!!!
5. I once fought a bear, a little one, for charity. that is false, it was a kangaroo and I was winning till he suffocated me in his pouch. When they pulled me out I wasn't breathing, my head was slimy and I stank of hot pouch. Subsequently no one attempted to perform mouth to mouth. I either have brain damage or the power of the kangaroo. I'm not sure yet but the government has promised extensive testing and probing.
Hope that everyone is great.
Spencer