Are you ready for some football!!!!!

I love this time of year. Oh how great. Here are the top ten reasons I'm excited for cougar football this year.

1. Something called the cougar tail brat. What might that you be you ask...well let me tell you. First the cougar tail is a 2 foot long maple bar. Delicious. And a brat is a brat. So apparently you mix them. Can't wait. No longer will I have to wait to eat maple bar then brat, maple bar then brat.....

2. I haven't had an old man tell me to sit down in over 8 months. Unless you count when my dad told me to sit down last week at dinner! haahhahah take that old man!!!

3. The smell of sticky food, calories, fat, sweaty men and musk for men. Strangely intoxicating.

4. Once again deceiving myself by truly believing that this year I'll make Erin see the beauty of college sports.

5. College Game Day. Ryan I expect you to be at my place every Saturday morning at eight. I'll supply lunch and if it's a particularly great day of football I'll go halfsies with you on dinner.

6. Watching my dad wear a "salmon color" shirt to every game. Even after we've been repeatedly asked to wear dark blue. He is the former cougar club president.

7. Cougar football is the only time a man can cry and every other man around him will not only come to comfort you, not be ashamed and will probably be crying also.

8. I get to sit around with Jethro and relive his high school football stories. Though they are good for anytime of the year. Curse you Badger!!!!!!!!

9. I get to yell "MOON PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

10. I once again see that true, real, hardcore fanatics kind of creep me out.

I'm so happy it's here. We will win every game this year and if we don't I promise to find a scape goat.

Some stories just must be told

This story is 100% true and 100% unbelievable. A nurse told me this story, well the parts I didn't already know. Without further ado....So a lady comes into the hospital and is super drunk, she says that her back hurts and needs some help. Right now you are thinking Spence, "that story was not that funny or interesting. I've been WAY drunk and I could still feel back pain."
Well, drunky Magee, here is the rest of the story on how she hurt her back.
She had been mixing alcohol and prescription drugs (or the PB&J of the casual user). Anyway while she was doing that her boyfriend had been shooting up heroin in the bedroom. After who knows how long (minutes, hours, days) she went to check on him. She noticed that he wouldn't wake up when she yelled at him. So, like the genius that she is, she remembered someone saying that the only way to wake a man up from a heroin overdose was to kick them in the groin. This is how she hurt her back. She began kicking her boyfriend in the groin and didn't stop kicking for over 3 HOURS!!! And that is how she hurt her back. So she decided to go to the hospital for her back. Not call an ambulance or anything for him. Well at least not until her back felt better. So while in the hospital she casually related this fine tale to the Doctor telling him that she wasn't sure if her boyfriend was alive or dead. She thought he was dead. So, the doctor was the one to send the paramedics to her verify her DEAD boyfriend!! Can you believe that! Who knows if it has yet registered to her that he is dead. Anyway when it comes to dying, 3 hours of jimmy kicking (be it post or pre mortem) is just not the way anyone would plan.

Erin's Version

Kauai was seriously beautiful! The pictures that Spencer put on here do not even do it justice. So I have decided to have a post dedicated to pictures! Enjoy!

What I have learned while abroad

Many of you know that me and Erin just got back from vacation. I'm here to fill you all in on what you don't know. I also helps that this helps you learn things about yourself that you also don't know. Journey with me...

This is a great golf course...just not as great as the one you will see later. Here is the acronym for why it is not as great. NLSMTTPMRN. Lets move one...

The most amazing thing that I noticed was every other car on the island is a PT cruiser. It's the truth. Then the next thirds or Chrysler Sebring. It's crazy. Kind of eerie

Just look at that valley! It was so pretty there and to think that we almost missed it because some kids really had to go to the bathroom. That's why I told them to bring extra underwear....and it paid off as you can see. There are a couple of waterfalls on the cliffs that you can't see. Just trust me they are there.

This was a magical place. Full of mystery and intrigue. I was told, or maybe possibly I just thought that this water would give me super powers if I drank it and then got someone to drink it and they got someone to drink it. Each time it would give me more powers. So yes I will take the credit of introducing the pyramid scheme to Kauai. I have brought some home that I will be mixing into food when you all visit. The reasons for me doing that should be abundantly evident. Side effects for you may include: diarrhea, upset stomach, incredible strength and narcolepsy. See you are learning so much about yourself.

First this is one of the golf courses that I played on. It was unreal. It was nicer than place I've ever been. They called me sir. Which I think I have earned. At the end of our round they gave me a cool, wet, lemon scented towel to pat my ruddy neck down with. Also My golf game turned the corner at this course. I might be the best golfer that you know now. See I bet that you didn't know that. Now you have learned something new about yourself.

I have lots more that I could do and probably will do, but alas I'm tired.

This is what I am looking at right now