Some stories just must be told

This story is 100% true and 100% unbelievable. A nurse told me this story, well the parts I didn't already know. Without further ado....So a lady comes into the hospital and is super drunk, she says that her back hurts and needs some help. Right now you are thinking Spence, "that story was not that funny or interesting. I've been WAY drunk and I could still feel back pain."
Well, drunky Magee, here is the rest of the story on how she hurt her back.
She had been mixing alcohol and prescription drugs (or the PB&J of the casual user). Anyway while she was doing that her boyfriend had been shooting up heroin in the bedroom. After who knows how long (minutes, hours, days) she went to check on him. She noticed that he wouldn't wake up when she yelled at him. So, like the genius that she is, she remembered someone saying that the only way to wake a man up from a heroin overdose was to kick them in the groin. This is how she hurt her back. She began kicking her boyfriend in the groin and didn't stop kicking for over 3 HOURS!!! And that is how she hurt her back. So she decided to go to the hospital for her back. Not call an ambulance or anything for him. Well at least not until her back felt better. So while in the hospital she casually related this fine tale to the Doctor telling him that she wasn't sure if her boyfriend was alive or dead. She thought he was dead. So, the doctor was the one to send the paramedics to her verify her DEAD boyfriend!! Can you believe that! Who knows if it has yet registered to her that he is dead. Anyway when it comes to dying, 3 hours of jimmy kicking (be it post or pre mortem) is just not the way anyone would plan.