This man a TIGER!!!!!!!

This morning around 10:00 I was in my room doing some school work when our "developmentally challenged" dog Charlie started barking like crazy. It soon started to drive me crazy. I thought that there was another dog in the front yard and it was bugging him. This kept going for what seemed like 10 minutes. Then, to my astonishment, I heard the front door open. I couldn't believe that I actually heard it. We live in a big house and it makes all sorts of crazy noises. (side note, chances this place is haunted or being used as a place to sleep for a homeless guy is around 87%) So now I'm a little alarmed. All I could think was that maybe Jake or some other friend/family member had come home and Charlie had forgot to stop barking. It's happened in the past. But all Charlie did was increase his bark in frequency and intensity. That is when I heard foot steps up above me!!! I couldn't believe it. So not thinking and only reacting, like all great action heroes, I grabbed my big Bowie knife and ran up the stairs. I got to the middle floor, turned around, and sure enough there is man standing in my home!! I pointed my knife right at him I yelled, in a voice that would have made Zeus tremble, "What the $%^&%!!! are you doing in my home!!! Upon further review I think the lines, "time to take out the trash," or "you're the disease...AND I'M THE CURE!" would have been much more awesome. Couldn't help it I was truly shocked. About then I grabbed Charlie right as he was lunging at the guy. He started to mumble something about being in the wrong house and that he was looking for the Brahmhalls, our neighbor. I told him, "I think you need to leave." I know I once again could have said something way better like, "Get busy leaving or get busy dying!!" Oh, well I'll save those for next time. Any way he took off. I waited for around half an hour and called our neighbors. That's when I found out that he had just entered the wrong house and was scared out of his mind!! On a self indulgent side note I hope he wet himself just a little. My neighbor explained that he had gotten lost and they told him some bad directions. They also told him that when he arrived he should just walk in. All joking aside, how lucky we were that he didn't surprise me by the stairs. Hate to think that I would have stabbed him. On a lighter note. He is also lucky it wasn't Jake he found there, cause that WOULD have been a stabbing.
Now he knows when you enter this tiger's lair, you're going to get bit!!
PS I'm a bangle tiger due to our similar coloring.

Root Beer Festival / B-Day

We had a great Root Beer Festival / Spencer's B-Day Party (and our friend Kallie's B- Day) this past week. There are just so many Root Beer's around, so in order to know which one is truly the best we had a root beer taste off! Spencer and Jethro combed the valley for every brand of Root Beer we could find, we then made a spread sheet of all the qualities a root beer can have, and got started.

Spencer and Jethro preparing themselves for the taste off.

Here are the individual results (thank you Robyn!!):

Shasta: too watery, smells tempting, hint of smokey, not enough fizz, chemical/manufactured taste good value @ 99 cents for 3 liters.

Barq's: Fine odor, licorice tasting, oooh, peppery, too coke-like, has a bite, candy-like

A&W: Odorfree, high fizzability, light caramel color, smooth taste, boldness, light burpablilty

Howie's: salty, medicine-like, not that good, very bad after taste, party killer

Albertson's: came off the bark of a tree, supper fizzy in a bad way, earthy taste, tonic water, level 3 & 4 burpability

Teddy's: first problem, it was cream soda, not rootbeer, whoa sprinkler when opens, sweet maple syrup, butterscotchy

Sprecher: Burning dust taste, moth balls, yuckStewarts: smoked, foamy, smells good, bad after taste, causes dry mouth

Henry W's (5 votes): Foamy x 400%, smooth, foamstache, great rootbeer float taste, causes baby burps and a 5 second burp, stays up as late as you want it to, good companion

IBC(4 votes): Homemade taste, summer of 95', flavor too strong, strong after taste, nose tickler, caused light burps, good foamage

Brick Oven: metal garbage can, way too sweet, syrupy, no fiz, heavy, Chinese root beer

We even held a blind taste test to identify the root beer 6 out of 7 guessed right. (I was the one who guessed wrong!)

When the root beer induced coma's kicked in, we broke out the donuts. I did make a cake, decorated it and everything and our handicapped dog (see previous post) ate the cake I baked for him!!! Stupid Charlie! Here are some pics...(Thanks again Robyn!!)

This is my favorite boy in the world (besides Spencer)

CHARLIE

Has anyone out there seen a study or any facts about the possibility of dogs being handicapped? We have the worlds cutest dog, but sometimes I truly think there is something that is not quite right with him. He gave me a good scare this morning, this is what I woke up to:

A Quick Poll

Which of these options is most conducive to a happy life.

1. Beautiful, silky, luxurious, hairy locks?

2. An indifference to hygiene?

3. Taut, firm buttocks?

4. A trusty steed?

5. A "get out of leprosy free card."

6. A hose that spews forth delicious ranch dressing?

7. Leather pants?

8. Orange creamies?

9. Formal dress sweats?

10. Genteel conversation with Sir Robert Gilroy?

It's too tough to call for me

Valentine's Day aka Male Pressure Day

This will be our 3rd Valentine's together. Odd, that this is the only Holiday that I can think of that shares it's name with a massacre. Or is it? To men all over this great earth it feels like a massacre is about to happen. I don't understand romantic. I try, and usually fail. So what I do is I shoot for "cute." As in "bless him he tried and failed, but it was so cute." Failure can be an option. Our first Valentine's together I got us locked in my dad's law firm building, set off the alarm, cut myself and bled all over, ruined my Mom and Dad's Valentine's by making them come and save us, who also had to ruin his secratary's (she had to come and unlock us so we could leave), and humiliated myself infront of Erin. Obviously the food got cold and becuase I tried to make it great, Erin could dub that it was so "cute" that I tried. So this year I'll once again shoot for romantic and end up at "cute." I can live with that.

Things that I've learned over the years about Valentine's Day.

1. Beef jerky is the male equivelent of roses.

2. I think that the male equivelent holiday is the fourth of July. Instead of romance and flowers we get explosions, bright lights and lots of BBQed meat.

3. Erin is a sport for putting up w/ my attempts.

4. I can't rhyme anything with "purdy" except "curdy" and "turdy" neither of which belong in a romantic poem.

5. Cupid's stupid. I work at a hospital and anyone who is that old and in still in diapers well that's not romantic, even if he does have a baby face.

6. Valentine's makes single, lonely people cry. (I've been there)

7. It's the one day that I use cologne and deodorant at the same time!

8. This is really hard. I Don't know if I'll reach my goal of 10. I guess I haven't really learned that much about V-day.

9. Charlie Brown sold out when he made "Happy Valentine's Charlie Brown." He never even kissed Peppermint Patty. I never thought that I would say this but, "You are a block-head Charlie Brown."

10. Last year I ate all the chocolates that I was supposed to give Erin. Sorry.

ps: Does it mean anything that the heart always has an arrow through it? Seems more deathy than lovey